4 Weeks

My baby is going to be a month old tomorrow, how is that possible already? Kylie is growing and changing every day and is really developing a personality of her own. She is ridiculously impatient. When she is hungry, she wants to eat immediately, and if she does not she gets majorly pissed. You know she is really mad when she does what we call the silent scream. Her face gets bright red and her mouth is wide open but nothing is coming out until all of a sudden......WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I can't help it but I have to laugh every time she does it. She is very strong and can hold her head up for a long time and look from side to side. She smiles, though so far only in her sleep. She is starting to grab on to things, like my hair or my shirt when I am holding her. Her eyes seem to be getting darker and I think they will eventually be green or brown and her hair seems to be slowly thinning out. She loves to cuddle and be held and sometimes that is the only way she will fall asleep. Speaking of sleep, she is still not on any kind of schedule or routine. She gets up every 2-3 hours to eat around the clock leaving mommy with very little time to sleep.

As far as the feeding goes, I am still pumping trying very hard to increase my supply and it is finally working little by little. I starting drinking a special tea and a lot of water and I pump so much I feel like I am always hooked up to that damn machine. I've reached my breaking point a few times now and claimed I was quitting all this nonsense and just giving her formula, but I haven't actually done it yet. It is so hard being a pumper because I need to pump every time Kylie eats at a minimum, even in the middle of the night. So I warm her bottle, usually while she is screaming, feed her, hold her until she is asleep, put her down and pray that she stays sleeping, a lot of times she doesn't so I pick her back up, then when she finally passes out I have to get up and pump for about 20 minutes. Then we repeat it all 2 hours later! I am slowly trying to get her back to just the breast strictly for the convenience factor and while she does a lot better with the latch she still just doesn't drink enough to get full leaving us in a never ending cycle of feed/cry/feed. Hopefully that will change soon.

I am feeling pretty much back to normal. I sometimes have just a little bit of discomfort when I move or sit the wrong way. I am in most of my normal clothes although some still fit a little bit different than they used to. I still have 7 pounds to lose to get to my pre-pregnancy weight and they don't seem to be going anywhere on their own so I need to start exercising. I just can't seem to find the time or energy. Jason gets up at 2:30am for work so on those nights I'm on my own. Even though I love being home with my baby girl all the time and I have one of the most difficult and stressful jobs there is, I sometimes thing it would be easier to go to work. But being a mommy is by far more rewarding!